For as long as I can remember, I've always looked longingly at the day when (Lord willing, of course) I would have a husband and family of my own. Typical of every girl, right? Doesn't every girl want their own Prince Charming to live happily ever after with? (Actually, this
use to be the typical girl, but that's another sorrowful topic...)
Anyway.
After all those years of waiting and hoping, this dream has finally begun to look real to me. And honestly? It looks really scary. I use to think it would take forever to turn 18 (this being, to me, a marriageable age), and now 18 has come and gone. The purpose of this post, though, is not meant to say any variation of:
"I'm tired of waiting!"
or
"He should be here by now!"
Instead, while reflecting on where I'm at in my life, I would like to thank God for his perfect reasons and timing. I've been thinking about the fact that so many people seem to be ridiculously immature when they get married these days. The world takes marriage so lightly. During one of my classes this last semester, one of the students became engaged to be married this summer. She was taking the class with her friend and they always talked about going to the mall, getting their nails done, or something teenage girlish like that. One day, as these girls were debating how to get their hair cut, the engaged girl (sorry, but I just can't call them women) was admiring her ring (an outrageously huge one, I might add. Total waste of money...). I remember thinking
...but they're just kids... And then I recalled that the engaged girl is actually two years older than me. It killed me that she was still acting and talking like a teenager (meaning 14-17 years old, btw) and yet will be getting married in a few months. What do people think marriage is? A slumber party? A patch of eternal roses? (lol, please excuse the sarcasm)
I honestly do not know what must go through people's minds when they think of marriage in their immature state, but it's certainly not any form of responsibility. Going back to the slumber party analogy, I don't think they realize that no matter how late they stay up, they'll crash eventually, or that roses, though very beautiful, do have thorns.
Anyway.
I said all of that to say this.
(Wait for it....lol)
I'm not ready yet either. Even though I hope that day isn't very far away (
and even though, as of a few years ago, I would have thought I'd be married by now), I'm extremely grateful that God knows I still have some things to work on before my wedding day. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'll ever feel mature enough, whether I actually am or not. I do know that His ways are perfect, and that this includes His will for my life.
So as I wait, I pray not only for patience, but also that God will prepare a godly man for me. And that I will be worthy of him when (
or if...) God brings that man into my life.
May God Be Glorified,
~Amanda
